All Audiences

A blog by movie buffs, for movie buffs, about movie buffs. And movies, of course. Duh.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Lindsey's One-Sentence Reviews: Electric Boogaloo

Does anyone even notice? Does anyone even care? Seriously! Where are you people?!

Wanted: Damn. Angelina Jolie sure is beautiful. But so is James McAvoy. Then they shoot things. Around buildings! And each other! SEE IT NOW...if it's still out...sorry, I've been busy.

Wall-E: I have a prediction: Oscar Gold. This is the sweetest, most original film I've seen in years. 4 stars! A-plus! SEE IT NOW! NOW, I SAY!!!

Mamma Mia: Meryl can sing. Pierce can't. It's still a damn good time. SEE IT IF YOU LIKE FUN TIMES! Stay until the very end!

The Dark Knight: I mean, c'mon. Do I even need to say it? SEE IT NOW for Heath Ledger's brilliant performance and Christian Bale's brilliant sinus infection.

So there you go! It's been a good summer so far.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Lindsey's One-Sentence Reviews: This Time It's Personal

Holy shit, it's June. Nearly July in fact and I haven't posted anything since January 1st! Granted, no one else has posted in far, far longer (a-hem!)

Anyway, it's time for another episode of Lindsey's One-Sentence Reviews! You'll laugh! You'll cry! It IS better than Cats!

Get Smart: Wouldja believe that it's actually really good? SEE IT NOW BECAUSE IT'S SUMMER!

Sex and the City: Estrogen overload!!!!!!! I think our cycles sync'd up during the movie. SEE IT IF YOU HAVE OVARIES AND LIKED THE SHOW!




um....


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Crap. I can't remember anything else that I've seen recently. So stay tuned for more reviews, once I figure out the last thing that I saw!

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Lindsey's One-Sentence Reviews: The Dewey Cox Story

So, 2007 is officially a distant memory and what better way to commemorate its demise than by posting some One-Sentence movie reviews? I know you're thrilled so let's get to it, shall we?

3:10 to Yuma: Bale and Crowe = hot brilliance! But see it for Ben Foster.

Across the Universe: SEE Bono's performance as The Walrus, AVOID Eddie Izzard's performance as Mr. Kite. (I know, I was pissed too!)

The Darjeeling Limited: One of the best films of the year that no one saw: SEE IT NOW!

Music Within: Insulting, ignorant, unbearable. C'mon, Ron Livingston and Michael Sheen! Back to Burger and The PM for you!

Margot at the Wedding: RENT The Squid and the Whale. If you see this, be ready to call your sister afterwards to apologize!

Juno: A movie with heart, with a capital H. Adorable.

I Am Legend: Most definitely! SEE IT NOW!

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story: John C. Reilly really can do no wrong!



And since 2007 is over, here's a recap of the best and worst this year had to offer (in no particular order):

The Best
Sunshine
The Lives of Others
Waitress
Hot Fuzz
Sicko
The Darjeeling Limited
I Am Legend
No Country for Old Men
Juno

The Worst
The Ten
Music Within
Curse of the Golden Flower
Blades of Glory


So, that's what we have for now. We'll see you in a few months!

Monday, October 29, 2007

Not a review, just an observation 2

If I see anything else about "Bee Movie" I'm going to shoot my television.

Friday, September 07, 2007

Lindsey's One-Sentence Reviews: Reviews Harder

Okay, here we go again! It's the end of the summer. I'm covered in mosquito bites from my weekend on Lake Erie. I saw a couple of movies. You read on...

Death at a Funeral: Miss Piggy directs Wash on a drug trip, hilarity ensues. SEE IT NOW!

Sunshine: If you like these words: "Amazing" and "Film" SEE IT NOW!

Stardust: If you like these words: "Neil" and "Gaiman" SEE IT NOW!

The King of Kong, A Pocketful of Quarters: Not the best doc on this list. Not the best movie period. Not really worth your time. AVOID UNLESS YOU'RE A REALLY BIG DONKEY KONG FAN OR YOU LIKE SEEING JERK-OFFS WITH BAD HAIR SAY THINGS LIKE "EVERYTHING I SAY DRAWS CONTROVERSY...LIKE THE ABORTION ISSUE." TOOL! YOU PLAY DONKEY KONG!

The Bourne Ultimatum: Things blow up! Matt Damon punches people in the throat! Good clean fun! RENT IT!

Transformers: Goofy dialogue and Optimus Prime doesn't fly. RENT IT LATER TO WATCH ON A BIG SCREEN TV!

Ratatouille: Cute. Not as good as Finding Nemo or The Incredibles or Monster's Inc. It might be on a par with Ice Age 2: The Meltdown. RENT IT ALONG WITH NEMO OR INCREDIBLES AND COUNT THE EVENING AS A SUCCESS.

300: Lots of warriors! Lots of well-defined abdomens! SEE IT NOW!

Knocked Up: The 40-year old Virgin it is not. Cute and silly. RENT IT!

Superbad: If you like dick and fart jokes and no plot line, this is the flick for you! SEE IT HIGH (you know, if you do that kind of thing...not that I'm condoning or condemning)

Sicko: This is the best doc on this list. It's also Michael Moore's best film since Roger and Me. SEE IT NOW, THEN MOVE TO CANADA...OR FRANCE...OR CUBA...

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: They're 18 (in real life) so you don't have to pretend to only be watching the movie...which is phenomenal, by the way. But I advise not being in the middle of book 5 when you go to see it. And, hey! What about that book 7, right? Fantastic! I am missing my Harry...until Thanksgiving 2008. SEE IT! OWN IT! LOVE IT!

Hairspray: You can't stop the beat! Just think about something else when John Revolta is on the screen, okay? Focus on Christopher Walken! Focus on Zac Effron! Focus on Nikki Blonsky! Just forget about Vincent Vega and you'll be fine. SEE IT FOR A FEEL-GOOD...UH...FEELING, OR JUST BUY THE SOUNDTRACK!

The Simpsons Movie: As good as season 6, but not as good as season 4. SEE IT NOW! BUY IT WHEN IT COMES OUT AND PLACE IT LOVINGLY WITH YOU DVD COLLECTION!

The Ten: 20% hilarious! 30% mediocre! 30% strange in that not-so-good way! 20% aw-ful! RENT IT AND USE THAT FAST FORWARD BUTTON TO SKIP TO THE COVET SECTIONS!

For the record, most of these movies are probably not playing at a theatre near you as I am months behind on my reviewing, but the ones you should look out for are: Sunshine, Death at a Funeral, and Stardust. If you find these, you're golden!

Stay tuned because in 3 months or so, I might just post something new!

Friday, July 06, 2007

Not a review, just an observation...

If I see another ad for "License to Wed" I'm gonna punch someone.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Quick 'n Dirty Movie Reviews

by Jeff McGinnis, Lead Usher

A few bite-size reviews, as I saw a lot in the past week and had no access to a computer...

"Live Free or Die Hard" - *** stars

Good to have John McClane back, and good to see him in exactly the kind of rip-roaring action flick the series has become known for. The plot is as ludicrous and entertaining as it traditionally is, and Willis is excellent in the role that made him a movie star, with newcomer Justin Long along for the ride as a computer geek who may hold the key to America's survival. Just great dumb summer fun.

"Sicko" - ***1/2 stars

Michael Moore's long-awaited documentary about the health care industry is not the typical Moore work, but one of discipline and genuine emotional impact. Instead of snidely commenting throughout, Moore instead lets the stories of those who have been damaged most by the health care system - the patients, both insured and uninsured - tell the tale. Even when a standard Moore-ish stunt pops up toward the end (in the form of the much-publicized trip to Cuba), it brings with it astounding power. You've heard about how, Republican or Democrat, everyone would be able to identify with this film. Well, I saw it with several Republicans, and I can honestly say it plays to both sides of the political aisle.

"Ratatouille" - **** stars

One of the sweetest, funniest, most entertaining movies to come along, since...oh, "Finding Nemo." Or "The Incredibles." Or "Monsters, Inc." Or...but you get the idea. The Pixar geniuses have done it again, this time with the unlikely story of a rat named Remy who loves to cook and gets to try his passion through a partnership with a young garbage boy named Linguini. In true Pixar fashion, the story never quite proceeds the way you might expect it to, and as the emotional climax of the story arrives, it comes heralded by some of the funniest sequences this year. A farce with a heart, a film that is genuinely for the whole family (young and old), this IS the best film of the summer so far.

I hope to write longer reviews of all three eventually (especially "Ratatouille," hopefully after a second viewing), but I wanted to make sure to get these up here while I'm on the computer. And for those who haven't seen it, enjoy the full-fledged "Transformers" review below!

"Transformers" Review

by Jeff McGinnis, Lead Usher

***1/2 stars (out of four)
140 minutes, Now Showing

Okay, how the hell did THIS happen? I was supposed to hate this movie. It was all but preordained. It's a movie based upon a toy franchise from when I was a kid, so the inner child geek in me would be pointing out all the inconsistencies in the storyline and how it "wasn't being faithful" to the source material. The adult film geek in me loathes Michael Bay and almost all he stands for. The end result was clear: "Transformers" was supposed to suck, and I was supposed to write an article explaining why.

Except it doesn't. In fact, not only does it not suck, but it is rather astoundingly good. Not great, there are flaws (which we'll get to eventually), but I enjoyed myself a hell of a lot more than I would ever have bet a few days ago. I have not been this pleasantly surprised by a movie's quality since the first "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie, which at the time looked like a lame action flick ripped off from a theme park ride. Just goes to show you can never judge a book by its cover - or, as Optimus Prime might say, sometimes there's more than meets the eye.

I was indeed a fan of the action figures and cartoon series growing up. Like every kid my age, I owned Optimus Prime, certifiably the coolest of all the Autobots, and watched the show every chance I got. Like a lot of fans, I became pretty disillusioned when the first "Transformers" movie came out, which served as a pretty transparent vehicle to introduce a new line of action figures by simply killing off all the old ones, Prime included. Even as a boy, I knew cheap marketing when I saw it.

I revisited the series as an adult when I received the first season of "Transformers" on DVD as a birthday present, and found that it had not aged well at all - it was a poorly animated and poorly written show designed to sell toys to the kiddies. Compared to later animated series like "Batman" (which is still entertaining and engaging no matter what your age), the original "Transformers" series just doesn't hold water. To steal a line, I thought as a child, and when I became a man, I put away "Transformers."

So I had little hope or interest in the film, particularly when Bay, a filmmaker whose work I have seldom admired, was attached as director. I can name exactly one Michael Bay film I enjoyed - "The Rock," and that was over ten years ago. He is a bombastic and over-the-top director who, it must be said, always swings for the fences, but who more often than not just goes down swinging.

So imagine my shock at watching "Transformers" and realizing it was working, and working in ways I never would have anticipated going in. Spectacular special effects and action sequences you might have anticipated, even if I didn't. But who could have foreseen the film's tremendous heart and human comedy? The first hour and a half of the movie features some of the most endearing and funny sequences I've ever seen in a film that comes billed as a summer blockbuster. Who knew that Bay had this kind of work in him?

The early scenes focus on a kid named Sam (current Hollywood "it" guy Shia LaBeouf), an immensely likeable teenager who is awkward and clumsy, particularly around the beautiful Mikaela (soon-to-be Hollywood "it" girl Megan Fox). He has a deal where his dad will help him buy a car, and at a used lot, comes across an old Camaro which practically demands to be purchased. It demands this by blowing out the windows of every other car on the lot.

The Camaro, of course, is not just a car, but actually the robot Bumblebee, sent as a scout for the heroic Autobots, who, as anyone who ever heard the theme song knows, are waging battle to destroy the evil forces of the Decepticons. They are all coming to Earth to find the legendary Allspark, a giant cube from which all...oh, no matter, the Allspark is just the MacGuffin, anyway. Doesn't matter what it does or why, it just matters that everyone wants it and will do anything to get it. Calling it a MacGuffin is not a criticism, merely a description - technically, "Rosebud" was a MacGuffin, too. (Yes, film scholars, I just compared "Citizen Kane" to the "Transformers" movie.)

But anyway. We know the Decepticons are coming because these early scenes with Sam are intercut with action sequences where evil robots attack military bases in Qatar and elsewhere. We meet a few soldiers on the ground, like Tyrese Gibson as Sergeant Epps and Josh Duhamel as Lennox (IMDB lists him as a Sergeant but the official site calls him a Captain, and the movie, to the best of my recollection, does not settle the debate), who fight the invaders with little success. The Decepticons are here looking for both the Allspark and their leader, Megatron, who apparently crash-landed here several millennia ago. Given what I remember of the characters, I find it hard to believe that Megatron was gone all that time and Starscream didn't try a revolt at least once.

These action sequences are further intercut with scenes where the Secretary of Defense (Jon Voight - yes, Jon Voight) tries to get a grip on the crisis and is understandably slow to accept that the threat is of an alien nature. Further interference is provided by the agents of a shadowy government agency which seems to know all about these invaders. Their leader is played by John Turturro (YES, John Turturro), who is practically smacking his lips with every line he reads.

But the heart of the early scenes lies in the relationship between Sam and Bumblebee, who tries to help the kid with his social difficulties every way he can. Bumblebee cannot talk (his voice was damaged in battle), but he uses his radio and satellite connections to speak for him, as well as to summon situation-appropriate music to any moment, often to hilarious effect. When Sam successfully talks Mikaela into accepting a ride home, Bumblebee parks them on a hill and starts playing "Let's Get It On."

Eventually, Sam and Mikaela get caught up in the impending intergalactic conflict, and are introduced to the remainder of the Autobots, including Optimus Prime (voice of Peter Cullen, who also voiced the character in the original animated series, as well). The work on each of the robots is meticulous and amazingly well done - each gear and joint is clear and visible, each robot amazingly complex and yet oddly plausible. No corners were cut in the design at all.

The material is absurd, of course, but the tone of the film redeems it by being sly enough to support it without taking it seriously. The use of classic catchphrases like "more than meets the eye" and so forth serve both as a tip of the hat to the original material and a hint of the satire that runs throughout. (This can also be found in subtle choices in the robot design - on the side of the Decepticon police cruiser, the typical "to serve and protect" instead reads, "to enslave and punish.")

The major flaw in the movie comes in the last act, which consists of a final battle between the Autobots and the Decepticons on the streets of a city (which city, I couldn't say). It is an exceedingly long battle, to be sure, but so chaotically filmed and structured that it is difficult if not impossible to follow. The constantly moving camera and the complex designs of the robots lead to long sequences where large balls of electronics crash into other large balls of electronics, making it hard for the audience to keep up with which character is which, let alone figure out whose side is winning. A little more thought and structure, and the last act would be as good as the rest.

But what remains is an exceedingly entertaining film, the kind of movie you can just surrender to on a hot summer night and have a great time. I still don't quite know how Bay, of all people, could have turned out such an immensely entertaining work full of warmth and humor, but he has. And it leads me to write a sentence I never thought I would, but here it is: I am very glad Michael Bay was chosen to direct this film.