"Transformers" Review

by Jeff McGinnis, Lead Usher

***1/2 stars (out of four)
140 minutes, Now Showing

Okay, how the hell did THIS happen? I was supposed to hate this movie. It was all but preordained. It's a movie based upon a toy franchise from when I was a kid, so the inner child geek in me would be pointing out all the inconsistencies in the storyline and how it "wasn't being faithful" to the source material. The adult film geek in me loathes Michael Bay and almost all he stands for. The end result was clear: "Transformers" was supposed to suck, and I was supposed to write an article explaining why.

Except it doesn't. In fact, not only does it not suck, but it is rather astoundingly good. Not great, there are flaws (which we'll get to eventually), but I enjoyed myself a hell of a lot more than I would ever have bet a few days ago. I have not been this pleasantly surprised by a movie's quality since the first "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie, which at the time looked like a lame action flick ripped off from a theme park ride. Just goes to show you can never judge a book by its cover - or, as Optimus Prime might say, sometimes there's more than meets the eye.

I was indeed a fan of the action figures and cartoon series growing up. Like every kid my age, I owned Optimus Prime, certifiably the coolest of all the Autobots, and watched the show every chance I got. Like a lot of fans, I became pretty disillusioned when the first "Transformers" movie came out, which served as a pretty transparent vehicle to introduce a new line of action figures by simply killing off all the old ones, Prime included. Even as a boy, I knew cheap marketing when I saw it.

I revisited the series as an adult when I received the first season of "Transformers" on DVD as a birthday present, and found that it had not aged well at all - it was a poorly animated and poorly written show designed to sell toys to the kiddies. Compared to later animated series like "Batman" (which is still entertaining and engaging no matter what your age), the original "Transformers" series just doesn't hold water. To steal a line, I thought as a child, and when I became a man, I put away "Transformers."

So I had little hope or interest in the film, particularly when Bay, a filmmaker whose work I have seldom admired, was attached as director. I can name exactly one Michael Bay film I enjoyed - "The Rock," and that was over ten years ago. He is a bombastic and over-the-top director who, it must be said, always swings for the fences, but who more often than not just goes down swinging.

So imagine my shock at watching "Transformers" and realizing it was working, and working in ways I never would have anticipated going in. Spectacular special effects and action sequences you might have anticipated, even if I didn't. But who could have foreseen the film's tremendous heart and human comedy? The first hour and a half of the movie features some of the most endearing and funny sequences I've ever seen in a film that comes billed as a summer blockbuster. Who knew that Bay had this kind of work in him?

The early scenes focus on a kid named Sam (current Hollywood "it" guy Shia LaBeouf), an immensely likeable teenager who is awkward and clumsy, particularly around the beautiful Mikaela (soon-to-be Hollywood "it" girl Megan Fox). He has a deal where his dad will help him buy a car, and at a used lot, comes across an old Camaro which practically demands to be purchased. It demands this by blowing out the windows of every other car on the lot.

The Camaro, of course, is not just a car, but actually the robot Bumblebee, sent as a scout for the heroic Autobots, who, as anyone who ever heard the theme song knows, are waging battle to destroy the evil forces of the Decepticons. They are all coming to Earth to find the legendary Allspark, a giant cube from which all...oh, no matter, the Allspark is just the MacGuffin, anyway. Doesn't matter what it does or why, it just matters that everyone wants it and will do anything to get it. Calling it a MacGuffin is not a criticism, merely a description - technically, "Rosebud" was a MacGuffin, too. (Yes, film scholars, I just compared "Citizen Kane" to the "Transformers" movie.)

But anyway. We know the Decepticons are coming because these early scenes with Sam are intercut with action sequences where evil robots attack military bases in Qatar and elsewhere. We meet a few soldiers on the ground, like Tyrese Gibson as Sergeant Epps and Josh Duhamel as Lennox (IMDB lists him as a Sergeant but the official site calls him a Captain, and the movie, to the best of my recollection, does not settle the debate), who fight the invaders with little success. The Decepticons are here looking for both the Allspark and their leader, Megatron, who apparently crash-landed here several millennia ago. Given what I remember of the characters, I find it hard to believe that Megatron was gone all that time and Starscream didn't try a revolt at least once.

These action sequences are further intercut with scenes where the Secretary of Defense (Jon Voight - yes, Jon Voight) tries to get a grip on the crisis and is understandably slow to accept that the threat is of an alien nature. Further interference is provided by the agents of a shadowy government agency which seems to know all about these invaders. Their leader is played by John Turturro (YES, John Turturro), who is practically smacking his lips with every line he reads.

But the heart of the early scenes lies in the relationship between Sam and Bumblebee, who tries to help the kid with his social difficulties every way he can. Bumblebee cannot talk (his voice was damaged in battle), but he uses his radio and satellite connections to speak for him, as well as to summon situation-appropriate music to any moment, often to hilarious effect. When Sam successfully talks Mikaela into accepting a ride home, Bumblebee parks them on a hill and starts playing "Let's Get It On."

Eventually, Sam and Mikaela get caught up in the impending intergalactic conflict, and are introduced to the remainder of the Autobots, including Optimus Prime (voice of Peter Cullen, who also voiced the character in the original animated series, as well). The work on each of the robots is meticulous and amazingly well done - each gear and joint is clear and visible, each robot amazingly complex and yet oddly plausible. No corners were cut in the design at all.

The material is absurd, of course, but the tone of the film redeems it by being sly enough to support it without taking it seriously. The use of classic catchphrases like "more than meets the eye" and so forth serve both as a tip of the hat to the original material and a hint of the satire that runs throughout. (This can also be found in subtle choices in the robot design - on the side of the Decepticon police cruiser, the typical "to serve and protect" instead reads, "to enslave and punish.")

The major flaw in the movie comes in the last act, which consists of a final battle between the Autobots and the Decepticons on the streets of a city (which city, I couldn't say). It is an exceedingly long battle, to be sure, but so chaotically filmed and structured that it is difficult if not impossible to follow. The constantly moving camera and the complex designs of the robots lead to long sequences where large balls of electronics crash into other large balls of electronics, making it hard for the audience to keep up with which character is which, let alone figure out whose side is winning. A little more thought and structure, and the last act would be as good as the rest.

But what remains is an exceedingly entertaining film, the kind of movie you can just surrender to on a hot summer night and have a great time. I still don't quite know how Bay, of all people, could have turned out such an immensely entertaining work full of warmth and humor, but he has. And it leads me to write a sentence I never thought I would, but here it is: I am very glad Michael Bay was chosen to direct this film.