All Audiences

A blog by movie buffs, for movie buffs, about movie buffs. And movies, of course. Duh.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

American Dreamz, A Review

by Lindsey Ruehl, Associate Assistant Manager

American Dreamz: My American Dream? NEVER TO SEE THIS MOVIE AGAIN. Oh, but props to bit player Adam Busch, best known as Warren, the season 6 baddie on Buffy. Joss would be so proud.

I award American Dreamz no stars and may God have mercy on our souls.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Brick and The Notorious Bettie Page

By lindsey Ruehl, Associate Assistant Manager

Brick, A Haiku

Dark and amusing
Young actors are wonderful
Best is Lukas Haas.

***For Brick.

The Notorious Bettie Page: Oh...that's unfortunate.

*1/2 For the Notorious Bettie Page.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

From the Favorites Shelf: "The Hard Way"

by Jeff McGinnis, Lead Usher

(And now, a new feature, suggested by hopefully-soon-to-contribute writer Greg Baker. From the Favorites Shelf will be a look back at the movies that didn’t get a fair shake, listed here so hopefully new audiences will check ‘em out. We begin with a personal favorite…)

If there is a lost art in moviemaking, it lies not in the sights we see, but the words we hear. The movies have become incredibly accomplished at showing us everything our imagination could wish for, and astoundingly dumb at crafting memorable things for its characters to say. There was a long time after sound recording was invented where film reveled in its ability to capture both the sight and sound of performers and artists’ work. Nowadays we might as well be back in the silent era, given how little of the dialogue which is uttered is memorable.

This is a rather grandiose way to discuss a cop buddy comedy, I admit, but when I think of “The Hard Way,” what I treasure more than anything is the fact that this is a movie that presumes its audience will keep up with it. Enough dialogue is uttered in this movie to fill two lesser comedies, and all of it is amazingly crafted to further develop the characters involved. This is not a great art-house film or a Tarantino classic, it’s simply a great entertainment that has a ton of great lines…none of which anyone noticed.

“The Hard Way” was made in 1991, was released, bombed, and has since been relatively forgotten save for a few fans who caught it way back when. I keep waiting for this film to find the cult audience it so richly deserves, but it never seems to happen. Michael J. Fox himself, in his excellent memoir “Lucky Man,” relates to this film as the most dismal failure of his career, while reserving fond memories for his relatively successful follow-up “Doc Hollywood.” That is a decent but utterly forgettable film, while “The Hard Way,” in my opinion, is a classic of its genre that has gone unheralded. In the overflowing garbage bin that is the cop buddy genre, here is the cream of the crop.

The movie stars James Woods as a gritty but loveable New York cop named John Moss, and I quote Roger’s line from his original review: “If they hadn’t been able to get him, they would have had to shut down the movie.” Woods has made a career out of playing this kind of role, and in “The Hard Way” it’s like he’s teaching a master class. We like the guy from his very first scene, where he crashes into another car and blares his police lights to clear the road, just because he’s late for a date. But he then gets distracted by a call on the radio - a serial killer by the name of the Party Crasher (creepily played by Stephen Lang), who has the odd tendency of calling the cops before each of his crimes, has just announced another shooting will be happening. This leads to barrage of obscenity from Moss and the first of the movie’s excellently done action sequences, which for once actually enhance rather than distract from the characters.

We then cut to a dead-on parody trailer for a an action film entitled “Smoking Gunn II” (Snarky Announcer: “Where there’s fire, there’s smoke! Where there’s smoke, there’s Joe Gunn!”), starring Hollywood “it” guy Nick Lang (Fox). Lang is tired of making mindless sequels, and wants to expand into more artistically important work. He sees Moss giving an interview post-chase on his satellite dish, and knows instinctively that this is the perfect guy for him to study to prepare for a role as a cop. He arranges through his eternally-exasperated agent Angie (Penny Marshall in a great cameo) and the department to go undercover and shadow Moss, which forces Moss off the Party Crasher investigation - or so it would seem.

As you can see, the plot is nothing particularly special or innovative. What makes everything work is the writing, the performances and the directing (by the undervalued John Badham). The screenwriters, Daniel Pyne and Lem Dobbs, fill their relatively standard story with non-stop dialogue that is both funny and fun to hear spoken. Fox’s Lang is a hyperactive motor mouth with an opinion on everything, and he never hesitates to make it known, whether he has anything worth saying or not. He is also constantly in awe of the “real life” settings he finds himself in, calling his agent to gleefully inform her, “I’m in the ghetto! No, it’s not a tour!”

Woods, meanwhile, brings his own trademark sardonic tone to every moment that Moss is on the screen, and his responses are often laced with some hilariously-used profanity. Upon learning that Lang wants to stay in his apartment, Moss simply responds, “Maybe when my @$$hole learns to chew gum.” And appealing to his captain to send Lang home, “He doesn’t belong here! He belongs in Never-Never Land, with his personal trainer and his assistant and his god-knows-who wipes his @$$ after he pinches off his daily loaf!” If one ever needs an example to point out how swear words, when used properly, can be hilarious comic props, this movie is exhibit one.

The give-and-take between the two characters is complicated by the presence of Moss’s girlfriend Susan (Annabella Sciorra) and her daughter Bonnie (a pre-Addams Family Christina Ricci). Moss cares about Susan a great deal - “I even quit smoking for her,” he proclaims, just before he tosses away the cigarette he’s currently trying to light in his mouth. But he has trouble opening up to her, a fact which Lang (still pretending to be Moss’s partner) unexpectedly complicates when he recites to Susan, verbatim, a speech Moss had said to him about the nature of the job, leading to Susan telling Moss he should be more like Lang. The subplot with Susan adds another level of depth and lovability to the Moss character…without her, he’d be a hard-nosed fireball of anger at all times, but when she’s around, he lets his guard down. When, later in the film, Moss begins to let down his guard around Lang, too, it’s a subtle indication that he maybe has found a way to like the snot-nosed little loudmouth.

The whole thing, of course, is building to the big climactic confrontation between Moss/Lang and the Party Crasher, but not before a few unexpected twists (and a classic dialogue exchange: “Drop the gun!” “Drop the car!” “Drop the gun!” “Drop the car!” “DROP THE GUN!!!”). The final battle somehow finds a way to pay off the evolution of both main characters, be an exciting fight/rescue scene AND pay homage to the finale of “North by Northwest” all at the same time.

Other memorable moments: The Frog-Dog scene. The new car Moss and Lang have to get out of impound, and the fate of their previous car. Lang dictating the contents of Moss’s apartment into a tape recorder. The Party Crasher’s uber-creepy response to Moss’s on-air criticism. How everyone says that the undercover actor looks “just like Nick Lang - only shorter.” How Moss is able to ditch Lang a day into their partnership. Moss, again to the captain: “Not if you tied my tongue to your tailpipe and dragged me 80 miles per hour naked across a field of broken glass!”

But, space is limited. It is truly unfortunate that a film with so many great lines, moments, characters, EVERYTHING has the stigma of the flop attached to it. Yet another reason to completely disregard box office gross as an indicator of artistic success (as if the fact that “The Benchwarmers” is doing well hadn’t made that abundantly clear). If you have never seen this unsung classic, plunk down the couple of bucks it’ll take to rent it, grab some microwave popcorn, and give it a shot. And make sure to turn the volume up. You wouldn’t want to miss any of the 100 or so bits of great dialogue.

Commentary: "Damning the Da Vinci Code? Pre-review Part One/NO SPOILERS"

by Heather Cloete, Magenta/Usherette

"One of the ways in which we now celebrate the great Christian festivals in our society is by a little flurry of newspaper articles and television programs raking over the coals of controversies about the historical basis of faith,"

"We are instantly fascinated by the suggestion of conspiracies and cover-ups. This has become so much the stuff of our imagination these days that it is only natural, it seems, to expect it when we turn to ancient texts, especially biblical texts. Anything that looks like the official version is automatically suspect."

"Such theories may be appealing, they do not help in understanding what the New Testament writers are actually saying and why."
-taken from Anglican Archbishop Rowan Williams at Canterbury Cathedral 04/16/06

"While we celebrate here the memory of the passion and death of the savior, millions of people are seduced by the clever rewriting of ancient legends to believe that Jesus of Nazareth was never crucified,"

"There is much talk about Judas' betrayal, without realizing that it is being repeated. Christ is being sold again, no longer to the leaders of the Sanhedrin for 30 denarii, but to editors and booksellers for billions of denarii,"

"The apocryphal gospels on which they lean are text that have always been known, in whole or in part, but with which not even the most critical and hostile historians of Christianity even thought, before today, that history could be made."
-taken from Father Raniero Cantalamessa, preacher to the pontifical household

Opus Dei has told Sony Pictures that putting a disclaimer on the upcoming movie "The Da Vinci Code" stressing it is a work of fiction would be a welcome show of respect toward the Church.

With so much chest beating and screaming going on, let's review a few historic facts.

Whatever happened in and around the Middle East happened. (I'll leave the specifics to your own beliefs.) Stories of those happenings were passed person to person as an oral tradition. There is no way to tell how many of those stories never made it to paper because someone who knew the story didn't pass it on to someone before they died. There is also no way to tell if the stories stayed "accurate" since the teller will inevitably drop a word here, add a word there. Later, when writing methods arrived, people began putting the stories they knew to papyrus or dried animal skins. Various groups devoted to the tales would create by hand perhaps hundreds of copies, which they carried with them and distributed to those they wished to share them with. Again, the accuracy problem comes up. If you wrote out this paragraph, how many times could you do it before you missed a word or a sentence?

The church did not exist in that time as it does in ours. There were hundreds, maybe even thousands of sects, each with their own interpretation of events and their meanings. If you compare two modern-day movie reviews, you can see how differently just two people can see the same thing. Differences in interpretation are why there are still so many different Judeo-Christian faiths today. (Catholic, Jewish, Baptist, Lutheran, on and on).

The issue comes down to the Emperor Constantine the Great. In or around 325 AD (centuries after Christ was said to have been crucified), he decided, for whatever reason, that there needed to be a single form of Christianity. He held the Council of Nicaea. They made all kinds of choices that affect us today (like when is Easter). As a result of that meeting, Constantine commissioned a new Bible containing a selection of the stories. The rest from that point onward were to be considered heretical. No one knows how many hundreds of pages were gathered up and destroyed. Some copies were hidden away. Some of those have been located in more modern times. The Coptic Scrolls were found in 1945, the Dead Sea Scrolls in the 1950's, and still in the headlines, a gospel of Judas. Many scholars believe that additional works have been found, but are in private hands.

That's the facts, folks. My uncle, a devout Catholic, chooses to believe that the Bible as it exists today, is as God wants it to be. His faith is based on that belief, and will not be shaken by anything in this or any other film, book, etc.

"The Da Vinci Code" is a work of fiction with some factual elements woven into it. Opus Dei does exist. They are a very devout group who's practices are a bit more severe than most, but nothing the average person would be put off by. They have faced accusations of brainwashing and other strange practices, but no proof has come to light. It is clear, at least in the book, that the going's on in the story are not coming from their organization, but by fictional individuals acting on their own motivations.

The Priory of Sion also existed, but practically no facts are known about the organization. The speculation of who may have been members, what their beliefs or practices were, is endless. A document exists that claims Da Vinci was a member, but he can't be asked to confirm it.

The heretic documents also are real. You can read any of them that you choose to. They contain a lot of familiar ideas, and a lot you may have never come across before. Whether you should believe what they say is no more my business than any of the rest of your beliefs. It is fact
that these historic documents exist. It is also a fact that Constantine went to great lengths to try to destroy them all. Why? There is no factual answer to that question. Theories range from divine inspiration to deepest greed. You believe what you choose.

Dan Brown did not make up many of the theories in the book. (Hence the various lawsuits.) Theories about the exact nature of the relationship between Jesus and Mary Magdalene, the details of events around the crucifixion, even the question of Christ being of a divine or mortal nature predate Gutenberg's printing press. There is a rich history of various people proposing alternatives to accepted church dogma. Long ago, representatives of the church put some of these people to death. Historic fact. These days, the church attempts to shout them down, drown them out in hopes average people will never hear what they have to say.

Da Vinci had a reputation as a secretive man who was fond of pranks and puzzles. Art historians have debated all kinds of elements of his work from all kinds of perspectives. Was Mona Lisa a self-portrait in drag? Did he actually paint the Shroud of Turin? Is that figure a man or a woman? I've always thought he would have enjoyed listening in to the arguments. We know from his own writings that he wasn't fond of the church. Anything beyond that is speculation.

The reaction coming from the various pulpits is that somehow "The Da Vinci Code" is going to put their faith on trial. That the church, and even Jesus Christ himself will be damaged by the average person seeing this material. It was interesting to read Archbishop Rowan Williams's
statement about "controversies about the historical basis of faith". History and faith are neither opposing nor interlocking concepts. The whole point of faith, of belief, is that it is not factual! It is a fact that the sun will rise tomorrow. I believe I will wake up tomorrow, but I can't prove it today.

If people have committed themselves to a specific church, nothing in this book/film will change those beliefs. It never proves any theories, merely puts them forward. The viewers then have the free will to judge for themselves. History will not be re-written by Dan Brown. It will also not be re-written by a church that wishes to claim anything they don't sanctify can ever be voiced.

Sorry for my own long delay...

I've a.) been busy, b.) suddenly been without internet access at home and c.) not been able to see any new movies. No excuse for my lack of updating this here thingy, but I will be working harder to get more original content here in the days to come, from me and others. Case in point, the following commentary from new AA writer J. Michael Bestul and the above commentary from new AA writer Heather Cloete! Yay!

More in the coming days!

Monday, April 17, 2006

Preview: Calling All Cthulhu-philes

by J. Michael Bestul, That Crazy Guy Who Sleeps in Theater #13

Freed from the constraints of my thesis, I emerge with a few gray hairs and a unforeseen worry. It is a worry that festers in my ulcer-ridden stomach like some horribly gelatenous protoplasm. The question is: How will this worry emerge from my bowels? Will it emerge as a dark god, terrible and beautiful to behold, or as some mere mindless spawn that nibbles away at your sanity?

Let me back up. The subject of the aforementioned thesis, the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society, creates many a fine Lovecraftian product. Their latest endeavor was a short, silent-film version of the HPL classic, The Call of Cthulhu (highly recommended viewing). During the course of thesis-writing, I wanted a model of how to explain Lovecraftian weirdness to academic readers. To that end, I looked up the Wikipedia entry on "Cthulhu."

At the top of the article was this statement: "For the unreleased film, see Cthulhu (film)." Wait a minute... what?! Did they mean the HPLHS film? Nope. There is, in fact, a film currently in production entitled Cthulhu. And this is where the worry started gestating in my gut. After all, naming your movie after the chief entity in Lovecraft's Mythos takes some serious chutzpah.

Ever the researcher, I visited everyone's favorite study in pastel blue and gold, IMDb.com. The entry for Cthulhu was on the edge of a nightmare; alarm bells were ringing at the first glance. The director and writer have no listed credits (could be good indicator, could be very bad). The producers' only other common credit is Police Beat, a Sundance movie which garnered mixed reactions. Again, this could go either way.

But scrolling down the cast list, I see a name: Tori Spelling. Now, I know she's not the main character, but... Tori Spelling. Ack. Not to mention that the movie is loosely based off "The Shadow Over Innsmouth," a Lovecraft tale that barely mentions Cthulhu. The worry grew.

Seeking more unhallowed knowledge, I pored over the official movie site, the production blog, and an interview with the Horror Channel. And now I'm torn. I had already set my expectations low, usually a necessary thing when preparing for a Lovecraftian film. But this interview intrigued me; it gave me a little bit of hope. And that can be a dangerous thing.

The writer and director seem to know their source material. The ideas of environmentalism and self-destruction are tied to the destructive tendencies of the Mythos. The issue of homosexuality is tied to the alienation and self-discovery from "Shadow." Honestly, these attempts at a multi-layered interpretation of Lovecraft's story could either be insanely effective... or a train wreck waiting to happen. There's no in-between.

So here I sit, waiting for a movie that has the potential for schlock or greatness. Will the stars be right, or am I just getting my hopes up for another mind-numbingly bad Lovecraftian film?

Thursday, April 06, 2006

"Ice Age: The Meltdown" Review

by Jeff McGinnis, Lead Usher

*** stars (out of four)
90 minutes, Now Showing

If the original “Ice Age” was a good animated film, then “Ice Age: The Meltdown” is a good sequel. If I were to offer a contrast, I’d note that the original “Toy Story” was a great animated film, and “Toy Story 2” was ALSO a great animated film. The difference is subtle, but it’s there. If you liked “Ice Age” (and I did), then you’ll probably enjoy this second go-around with the characters (as I did). If you didn’t see the original film, or didn’t like it, I can’t recommend it on its own merits.

For fans of the original, “Ice Age: The Meltdown” (which lost its “2” somewhere during the ad campaign) offers a nice revisit to the same core group of characters, and a few new ones, though by and large the new creations aren’t as much fun as the old ones. There are also once again frequent and hilarious interruptions by Scrat the squirrel, still on his never-ending quest for a single acorn, and one gets the impression that this character could be effortlessly spun off into a series of animated shorts that could rival some of the Warner Brothers’ work.

The rest of the cast, however, may not be as extendable. The filmmakers, having taken their characters through a wonderful series of adventures and a bit of personal evolution (no pun intended) in the original film, have fewer solid ideas on how they should progress in a sequel. Manny the Mammoth (Ray Romano) gets plenty - the pathos that he may be the last of his kind and then potential romance - but his buddies Sid the Sloth (John Leguizamo) and Diego the Tiger (Denis Leary) seem to be in basically the same roles they were in before, with a few minor details added in. Diego deals with his fear of water, and Sid learns he’s being worshipped by a clan who considers him a “fire god.” Sid definitely got a better deal than Diego.

The story begins with the characters living in a valley surrounded by a giant ice wall, with a whole host of other animals as colorful background. The temperature is going up, which means everyone’s pretty happy until shifty businessman Fast Tony (voice of Jay Leno) begins to spread hype that the world will soon end as a result, and insists the only way to survive is to use his products. (What kind of profit Tony can make in a world without money is another question.) After determining that the ice will indeed melt and fill the valley with water, the whole group of animals decide to trek to the other end of the valley, where a creepy vulture (voice by Will Arnett) has told them a large log sits which could float them to safety.

And so the trek begins, with occasional adventures added in for good measure. Manny is despondant over the fact that there seem to be no other mammals around…until he meets Ellie (voice of Queen Latifah), a mammoth who crashes in front of him out of a tree. Manny is overjoyed that he’s not the last, until Ellie informs him that she’s not a mammoth, she’s a possum, as her two possum brothers (voices of Seann William Scott and Josh Peck) assure her. Why she’s so sure of this, and how she comes to learn otherwise, help provide the emotional center of the film’s main story.

Queen Latifah’s voice work helps bring the whole main storyline weight and dimension, not to mention a lot of energy. She brings Ellie her own inherent sense of likeability, and we can see why Manny grows to like her, too, as frustrating as her bull-headed insistence that she’s actually a possum can be to him. Her brothers are a little annoying at first, but we come to realize that their insistence that Ellie is their sister is not simply a matter of self-preservation, but that they honestly think of her as one of their own. They can be a little stubborn, but they’re family.

The journey of the newly formed herd takes them the length of the valley, with peril brought by collapsing cliffs, rising water, and a pair of newly thawed prehistoric fish monsters which hunt the group whenever they’re near the sea. They are also constantly shadowed by a large group of vultures, waiting for their meals to be ready. “I wonder what they’re thinking?”, Sid asks. It would not be fair to spoil the way they respond to this question.

In short, there’s a lot to like here, a lot of nice ideas and moments, and the constant fun that the Scrat asides bring to the enterprise. It just lacks the unifying factors that made the original “Ice Age” such a great movie. The great ideas and fun moments in that film helped deepen the main story, giving its climax genuine emotional impact. Here, it’s fun to see everyone again, and Ellie is certainly a welcome addition to the main cast, but they’re gonna have to convince me that they have a great reason to make “Ice Age 3” (beyond the cash it’ll make) before I fully sign up for that one.